A ponderance from Tucson...
Apparently, some wacko scientists somewhere are paranoid about giant asteroids plowing into the earth and killing billions of people. Granted, it's scientifically possible, but I'm not going to start carrying an umbrella everywhere I go. Anyway, a few days ago, I read an article in the newspaper that described one of these wacko scientist's proposal to ward off any potentially deadly asteroids. This guy wanted to build a huge mirror in space, and focus sunlight onto the asteroid. If enough energy is focused onto the asteroid, the momentum of the asteroid will change by just enough so that the asteroid will miss the earth and humanity will be saved. The mirror, the scientist claims, can be made out of aluminum-coated plexiglass, and will be about six miles in diameter. If you hack through the equations, he claims, the momentum of the photons (photons have no mass but do have finite momentum - well-known principle of "photon pressure") will get the job done.
Two huge problems.
Analogy: When a pool ball bounces off a second ball and changes its direction, the second ball also moves. What this wacko scientist proposes requires that we affix the six-mile-diameter mirror to something much heavier than the massive deadly asteroid, like what... a planet???
- This would cost unbelievable amounts of money; I don't think any country on earth could afford to put together something like this, even if it means salvation of civilization as we know it. It would also require somebody looking into space for potentially dangerous asteroids, which I think only one pair of scientists in the world is doing.
- If this "photon pressure" is enough to divert a massive asteroid, it is certainly enough to move the mirror itself, which nobody seemed to notice. The mirror reflects all of the light, and changes its momentum accordingly.
Anyway, dumb science marches on. Especially in Tucson.
Ron
(written November 12:)
Hi, all. The KRQ folks got a new intern that they can't stand. In their own words, "He's the most stupid person we've ever met." They played me a tape of this intern's "songs"; as it turns out, he's an aspiring singer/songwriter. It's really really really really bad. In order to do my part to help abuse this new intern, I wrote a song for him. It's named after his most prominent feature...
Beautiful, eh?"SIDEBURNS" by RG, 11/11/93
I'm so darn cool
I'm so darn cool
I'm just so cool
I make chicks drool
I got the look
I got the look
When it comes to looks
I wrote the book
Cuz I got sideburns
Growin' out ma face
Yeah I got sideburns
Discriminating taste
Check out my sideburns
My face is in demand
When you got sideburns
You the hairstyle makes the man
How do I look so good?
Well it ain't under the hood;
It's right up front so everyone can see
And if you think it's scary
That I keep my face this hairy
Then you must not be hip enough for me
Check out my hair
Check out my hair
I love my hair
It's everywhere
Cuz I got sideburns
Growin' out ma face
Yeah I got sideburns
Discriminating taste
Check out my sideburns
My face is in demand
When you got sideburns
You know the hairstyle makes the man.
Ron "William Shakespeare" Gerber
(written November 18th:)
Howdy. The powers that be upgraded the mainframe that I have my account on, so I've been out of it for the last three days. Now my messages will get to you so quickly that they'll dent your machine. Ooooo-weeeee!
We had Meadowlark Lemon on the show this morning. He is one funny guy. We were also supposed to have Mac Davis on, but he couldn't make it and called while Meadowlark was on the air with us. So they spoke to each other for a while and we all sang a few verses of "Baby Don't Get Hooked On Me". It was radio magic, and we'll all be a little giggly for a few days.
Things are going well.
Ron
