Howdy, y'all. (Is is authentic Texas yet?) It's time for the Mr. Science update. And it's a goodie!
Last Tuesday, the phone rang at 7:45 AM while I was trying to sleep in, so my machine picked it up. It was the producer of the morning show at KRQ, and he said to call him back. I staggered to the phone and called him back, still completely asleep. He said that he had this woman on one of the other lines who called in with her own useless fact and wanted to be Miss Science. He wanted to fix us up on the air, so I agreed and he put me on hold. In the two or three minutes I was on hold, I came up with some questions to ask this Miss Science, like does she prefer boxers or briefs, etc. They put Miss Science and me on with Mike & Jimmy (the DJs) who set us up on the air, and they tell me it was pretty funny although I don't remember any of it because I was still asleep.
So we went out for coffee. It turns out that she's a premed undergrad here at UA, and is very attractive. While nothing happened on our date, I made up a wonderful story for the next morning's Mr. Science bit. It went something like this:
Mr. Science: Good morning, Mike & Jimmy, it's Mr. Science, the prestidigitator of love.There's no way I'll ever be able to top this one; I may just retire at the peak of Mr. Science's career.
Mike & Jimmy: So!!! I guess it went pretty well last night.
Mr. S: Yes it did! I went out with this Miss Science person and it turns out that she knows just as much useless information as I do.
M & J: So what happened on the date?
Mr. S: Well, I picked her up in my low-rider Ford Escort, and we drove out to this little place I know by the river. Just her and me and Barry White playing in the background.
M & J: Uh-huh.
Mr. S: We watched the clouds for a while, and I told her that clouds are flat on the bottom. We walked along the river for a while and she told me that the average person walks about 70,000 miles in his lifetime.
M & J: -laughter-
Mr. S: We stopped and stared into each other's eyes and I told her that your skin weighs almost twice as much as your brain. And I wasn't just interested in her brain if you know what I mean.
M & J: -laughter- Uh huh.
Mr. S: If you know what I'm saying.
M & J: Uh huh.
Mr. S: If you catch my drift.
M & J: Uh huh.
Mr. S: Nudge nudge wink wink.
M & J: Say no more.
Mr. S: Well, things got a little steamy when she told me that American shoe sizes tend to get larger with each generation.
M & J: -laughter-
Mr. S: And she wanted to know MY size. You know what they say about guys with big feet; they wear big shoes.
M & J: Uh huh. -laughter- So it went pretty well then?
Mr. S: Suffice it to say that you can't belch while you're lying down, and there wasn't a whole lot of belching going on last night.
M & J: -more laughter- Wow! It sounds like things went pretty well!
Mr. S: Yeah! In fact we have plans this weekend. We'll be testing the theory of gravity by dropping this off the roof. We're gonna see which falls faster - a bowling ball or an ice sculpture of Dom Deluise.
M & J: -much laughter- Well congratulations, Mr. Science.
Mr. S: Set the bread maker to matzah, I think I'm in love.
M & J: -lots of laughter into a commercial.-
And that's the sad sad truth, the dirty lowdown from the land of sand.
It hit 84 degrees yesterday - a new record!
Ron
(written January 18th:)
It's 75 out here with the wind chill! Brrrrr!
So how's the frozen northeast? Tectonic stability is a good thing, isn't it? No, we didn't feel the earthquake in Tucson. I guess we don't feel much of anything at all in Tucson.
I climbed the highest mountain in the Tucson area on Sunday. Something like 9300 feet. It was a pretty arduoud climb, but the view was like nothing I've ever experienced before. We could see just about forever in all directions and could see over all of the other mountains. Cool! I could see into Mexico from the peak, and way past Tucson to the north. It was amazing, and I'm sore in weird places again. Not as bad as the 10K run, but pretty sore nonetheless.
It was really really cold on top of the mountain. 20 degrees! And there was some ice up there! ICE!! COOOOOLD!!!! Brr!! (I don't detect any sympathy heading my way...)
And that's the scoop,
Ron
(written January 21st:)
"How y'all are?" - The Cajun Chef
Sorry about the weather. I won't burden you with the knowledge that it still hits 70 during the day out here. No snow. Or ice even.
In other news, my car battery died. I heard that Tucson kills batteries because it's so dry out here. Not a life-threatening situation, though.
And in other news, Mr. Science talked about his tattoo this morning, which happened to be a picture of Rerun from "What's Happening". Hey, Shirl! Hey, Dwayne! Hey, Rog!
Long Live Fridays,
Ron
